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Joke of the Day

"I don't mind comic sans. It's honestly a very well rounded font."

"Why did the computer say hello? Because it was a Dell."

"14-year old Becky writes ""Stop wars"" as her Facebook status. It gets nine ""likes"", all from world leaders. Peace reigns forever. She did it."

"What did the banana peel say when asked what happens after it's thrown into the compost pile? IDK, i'm just a banana."

"[During Sex] ""Hurry up, this isn't really my house."""

"Did you hear about the birds who wanted to go out drinking? They ended up at the crowbar."

"It must be very traumatic for my wife to be at work knowing I'm home alone getting bread crumbs on the kitchen counter. Let's pray for her."

"My ex-wife is like a tornado First she blows, then she sucks, then she took my house and dog."

"What do a stoner lost in the desert and Bolivia have in common? They're both really high and have no access to water."

"What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? Mostly the taste."