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Joke of the Day

"Before you decide to spend less time on social media, make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone."

"I'm really disappointed after hearing about Trump and the golden shower thing. I thought we had seen the end of republican trickle down economics."

"Here's how I made my dick 10 inches long... I folded it in half."

"Want to hear a good joke? Me too."

"By now, I'm pretty sure Scott Weiland was right. He's half the man he used to be."

"Me: ""This Chardonnay is so nice, I can really taste the oaky undertones"" ""Sir those are just chunks of cork from opening it with your keys"""

"Q: How do you make a witch itch? A: Take away her W."

"Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell into a ditch She screamed until she was blue in the hand."

"There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's... Yea, says the guy who never shoved a bunch of Reese's up his ass."

"After last nights performance you've really got to feel sorry for goalkeeper Julio Cesar... The last time i saw a brazilian facing that many shots he was jumping a ticket barrier at stockwell."