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Joke of the Day
"My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization."
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"Which wrestler's weakness is the rain? Dwayne Johnson"
"Illegal immigration is not a new problem. Native Americans used to call it ""White People"""
"There's been and explosion is a French cheese factory... All that's left is de brie!"
"""Oh, you're left handed?"" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I'm just doing it for show"
"CNN writer: how's this - my phone is missing. CNN exec: meh Writer: It was on AIRPLANE mode! *CNN exec absolutely loses it*"
"Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?"
"Video games should be banned. My son just threw a turtle shell at a walking mushroom then disappeared down a green tube. Someone call 911."
"What do you call a spitting vampire? Spatula."
"I'll never forget what my grandmother said to me right before she passed away. She said to me *""What are you doing?!?""*"