58199

Joke of the Day

"Why did the double agent cross the road? Because he never really was on your side."

"Why does Dr Dre make headphones? Beats me."

"I spent all day yesterday putting my old watches together to make a belt. When I finally finished I realized it was just a huge waste of time."

"Before you have kids, practice yelling ""GET UP NOW OR I WILL TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PAJAMAS!"" & see if it's right for you."

"What do scientists use to measure a chicken's gestation period? An egg timer"

"Where do retired pigs go for warm weather? The tropigs!"

"I don't really suffer from insomnia. It's more of an all-night panic attack about everything that has and hasn't yet occurred in my life."

"Riding a big girl is like riding a moped... Its okay until someone sees you"

"It all. The title says it all."

"What did the court jester call the balding crown prince? The Heir Apparent with no Hair Apparent."