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Joke of the Day
"Why was Eric Clapton arrested? He was fingering A minor."
Next Joke
"I've heard that 1 in 3 people have a pedophile as a neighbour. But that can't be right because my neighbours are sexy 5 and 7 year olds."
"Many Americans don't know the opposites of the following words: * Always * Coming * From * Take * Me * Down"
"No thanks World Cup, if I wanted to watch a bunch of guys unsuccessfully try to score I'll just stay on Twitter."
"Me: Why does it take you forever to text me back? *3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about?"
"Grilled cheeses are the sweatpants of sandwiches."
"Bono and a Lightbulb How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world."
"How to make friends with girls... Ask them to be your girlfriend."
"Woozy woman comes up ""OMG I'm-I'm gonna faint!"" ""Go ahead, knock yourself out"""
"I'm voting for Trump... I've never seen a president assassinated."