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Joke of the Day

"I spent all day yesterday putting my old watches together to make a belt. When I finally finished I realized it was just a huge waste of time."

"Did you hear about the baby with the gigantic, record-setting head? The mother called it a crowning achievement."

"""Most of Refugees are Doctors and Engineers"" -Barack Obama Thats right, they are all gynecologists"

"What do you call a cannibal that eats relatives? Munchkin."

"Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd."

"A nurse goes to the bank As she is about to sign her name on the deposit slip she pulls out a rectul thermometer, ""awww crap some asshole has my pen."""

"I went to the gym and asked the guy there to teach me how to do the splits..... He said 'how flexible are you?' I said 'I can't do Thursdays.' Credit: Tommy Cooper"

"I would like to make a pun about philosophy,... ...but I Kant."

"A Chemistry Degree is like an awesome girlfriend, because you get anal before getting physical."

"Blacksmith asked, do you have any experience in horseshoeing? ""Yes, I once told a horse to fuck off."""