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Joke of the Day

"Every DJ's picture looks like they just got done effing your mom & can't wait to tell you about it."

"I'm from the 80's. We ate cookies instead of deleting them."

"Why didn't the motorcycle want to go for a ride? It was two tired..."

"I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 pm The clock turned to 12:00 and I thought to myself, ""Same shit, different day."""

"I'm holding a benefit for people with erectile dysfunction or orgasm issues. If you can't come, let me know."

"I wish these two tailors would get on with their fight.... I wish these two tailors would get on with their fight. They've been sizing each other up for hours."

"Anyone know the exact alcohol content of ""lady humps""? How drunk am I going to get off them?"

"What instrument do piggys play in a band? Pigcussion!"

"There are two pronunciations for uranus. Ur-anus and Ura-nus I prefer ur-mom"

"Yo momma's so fat You can see the couch behind her do to gravitational lensing."