201047

Joke of the Day

"I'm holding a benefit for people with erectile dysfunction or orgasm issues. If you can't come, let me know."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A total rip off."

"Like my therapist always says, ""I'm not your therapist, you're just laying on a couch in Ikea"""

"What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? Iron man is a well known super hero. Iron Woman, that's a command."

"Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone."

"When I die, I'd like my coffin to be filled with Reese's Pieces so on my headstone it can say ""R.I.R.P."""

"Pretty proud that after all these years I still have the body of a 22 yr old triathlete. In my storage shed."

"A fava bean was playing near a meat grinder Then his mother came and said, ""Stop that! You're making a foule out of yourself!"""

"If people post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible."

"On their death beds, I bet a lot of bad guys wish they would have turned around and watched more explosions."