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Joke of the Day

"I'm from the 80's. We ate cookies instead of deleting them."

"I think my cell mate is gay... He closes his eyes when I kiss him goodnight."

"Can someone get Trump a thesaurus, I can't listen to the same 23 words every day"

"Why don't midgets smoke weed? Because they can't get high."

"It'd be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people."

"What do you call a blonde in a BMW? Optional."

"The zoo only has one animal it's a shih tzu."

"Being asked if you've read 50 Shades of Grey is like being asked if you've had steak at Applebees. You do know there's actual steakhouses?"

"What does a programmer do in the toilet? A log dump!"

"[restaurant] DATE: Tell me something naughty about you ME: Sure [loudly chewing a steak] I haven't brought any money"