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Joke of the Day

"I wish these two tailors would get on with their fight.... I wish these two tailors would get on with their fight. They've been sizing each other up for hours."

"Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth with them after you've used them."

"I heard that wordplay was illegal. Apparently there is serious PUNishment."

"What did Hermoine say when she found out she's pregnant? Fetus Abortus!"

"Instructions for falling down stairs... Step 1 Step 2 Step 4 Step 8"

"I started to sing the poop song Dad said it was crappy."

"Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged."

"""Seize the day"" in Latin is ""Carpe Diem"" ...""Seize the day"" in Douchebag is ""YOLO"""

"Why does MLK only get one day, while sharks get an entire week? I guess it's because they're great whites..."

"I bet cats are pissed they can't sit on televisions anymore."