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Joke of the Day

"I stopped at the bookstore to pick up the book I ordered on how to get through life with an extremely small penis. It isn't in yet."

"This doctor once told me eating a bagel was like eating 5 slices of bread and I was like ok, cool, I like bread"

"What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? Glue."

"Two men just got away with the largest Viagra heist in history. Police say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals."

"How to get rid of crabs First, shave off half your pubes. Then light the other half on fire, as they run to the shaved side, stab them with a knife."

"I told my dad I didn't want to walk all the way there... ...He said: ""That's a lame excuse""."

"Q:Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')"

"I opened a company.... for guys with erectile dysfunction because I felt sorry for them. Now they all want a bloody raise."

"Why did 5000 Mexicans show up to fight at the Alamo? They only had two cars."

"Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party? To find a tight seal."