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Joke of the Day

"Happy birthday to rapper Pitbull who is 34 today, or 238 in dog years for all the other Pitbulls."

"Why do squirrels swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry."

"I have a rape joke. Never mind, it's a bit forced."

"How can you tell vampirism is a disease? On account of the coffin."

"How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you."

"If a tree falls in the woods It won't make a sound because it has been copyright claimed by Warner Music Group."

"I'm wearing nike pants so you have to just do it..."

"Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes."

"I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn't think."

"How was Jackie Gleason put into his casket? Crammed in."