201377

Joke of the Day

"I told my dad I didn't want to walk all the way there... ...He said: ""That's a lame excuse""."

"Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Just taught my 15 year old German Shepard to play dead! Cocky bastard is trying to set a record too! Been that way for eight hours now..."

"My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato."

"how did I escape iraq iran"

"Having trouble keeping track of which celebrities are alive and which ones are dead? Here, use my Heath ledger."

"Why couldn't Bing start a fire? No matches founds"

"The human body is 90% water, so we're basically just cucumbers with anxiety."

"[in a bar] Him: Trouble is my middle name. Me: wow... That's a stupid middle name. You must hate your parents. Him: *breaks down crying"

"My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe."