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Joke of the Day

"Being a chemist, I feel pleasure to announce that I've just Synthesised CPH4(lucy drug). I wish I could post it in r/worldnews."

"I tried wrapping Christmas presents.. But I just didn't have the gift"

"Dear Grocery store clerk, What part of me searching madly and paying in nickels & dimes suggests I can donate a dollar to the food bank?"

"I read a story about a kid that ate 4 cans of alphabet soup in one sitting... It said that he later had a massive vowel movement. Maybe a dirty joke."

"Listening to my husband's gorilla snoring and contemplating if I could record it and sell to the FBI as an alternative to waterboarding."

"Love is blind, said the blind to the deaf I can see that."

"What's the difference between ignorance and indifference? I don't know and I don't care!"

"A 2-hour movie called ""Can You Watch My Kid For Like 15 Minutes?"""

"A few years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope.. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die."

"How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another women's lipstick on his knuckles."