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Joke of the Day

"A 2-hour movie called ""Can You Watch My Kid For Like 15 Minutes?"""

"Why don't you buy sunscreen from Steve Irwin? Because it doesn't protect you from harmful rays"

"Where does Moses get his coffee? Hebrews it."

"Say what you will about Hitler, but the guy did kill Hitler."

"How many cops does it take to arrest a broken light bulb? Two. One arrests the room for being black. The other arrests the bulb for being broke."

"What does Acetone and Hitler have in common? They're both Polish removers!"

"Why are gay prostitutes so expensive in China? Because there aren't any free erections."

"What did Palpatine order in the drive thru? Friiiiiiies"

"Q: What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend? A: His smellular phone!"

"I'm handling Monday the same way I handle constipation. Gritting my teeth and wishing it pass already."