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Joke of the Day

"Why are jack-o-lanterns inbred? because they pump-kin"

"Why do they bury lawyers 20 feet deep? Because deep down, they're good people. Thanks Saul."

"How do you know humans can't reincarnate as insects? You've ever gotten one bug bite not on your crotch (or tits)."

"What do Pavlov's dogs call storefront bell-ringers? The Salivation Army."

"I call my mom and step-dads marriage "" 12 years a slave"". He is the slave."

"I'm worried about Rosemary's Baby. Everyone knows Thyme has been hard on her. (That's right. I do spice jokes. Dill with it.)"

"Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job."

"My 'home to pants off' speed ratio is unparalleled."

"When I wear those trendy sports bras with a million straps I get stuck in them like a seagull in a six pack ring"

"Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs."