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Joke of the Day

"When I wear those trendy sports bras with a million straps I get stuck in them like a seagull in a six pack ring"

"If I start removing my earrings while maintaining eye contact, you're either in for the fuck of your life, or you'd better fucking run."

"A number fight there was this 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 ganging on a 0, he tightened his belt and became an 8 and beat them all"

"""I invented the cubicle."" - Someone hopefully in Hell"

"I hate when someone calls me arrogant. Especially when they're clearly beneath me."

"What do you call a racing horse that's never been groomed? Furlong"

"I'm a show off but not drive around with Christmas lights on my car show off And that's when I realized it was a cop car"

"Brexit EU now has 1 GB of free space!!"

"I climbed on this seesaw with Rick Astley 3 hours ago. *sigh He's never gonna let me down."

"Why did nobody want to be around Hitler? Because he was very gassy."