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Joke of the Day

"My 'home to pants off' speed ratio is unparalleled."

"Two guys walked into a bar... ...the third one ducked."

"Why couldn't the two melons get married? Because they cantaloupe! I'll see myself out now..."

"I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that."

"What do you can a pessimistic antelope? A cantaloupe"

"I hit a guy with my car the other day. Don't worry, it wasn't serious. well... I was laughing. He might have been too, I didn't stop to find out."

"Did you fall from the sky? Not because you look like an angel but because your face looks like you fell from a really high place ;)."

"A toilet was stolen from a police station today... It's a pretty serious crime. The police have nothing to go on."

"If cancer is ever cured it'll probably be because of the people who liked all of the Facebook statuses that are against cancer."

"My girlfriend dumped me for talking too much about video games what a ridiculous thing to fallout 4"