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Joke of the Day
"I would send a joke but my autobiography hasn't come out yet"
Next Joke
"What do calculators do when they love each other? They multiply!"
"The St Louis Rams are moving to Los Angeles... And Im too lazy to move out of my parents house"
"When does 1+1=3? ..... When you don't use a condom."
"nothing says FUCK YOU like a restaurant giving you one napkin with your takeout order"
"The iPad Air is named after what's left in your bank account when you buy one."
"What do you call a smart knife? Cleaver! EDIT: Also Sharp, knew about this one but I like Cleaver better."
"I quit smoking, drinking and chasing women... Worst 10 minutes of my life..."
"I like my whiskey how I like my women... Fifteen years old and mixed up with coke."
"My mom once forgot her meds and tried to drown me in the bathtub. That made for a really weird 27th Birthday."