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Joke of the Day
"What rhymes with orange no it doesn't."
Next Joke
"Splinters are woods way of sexual assault They can go deep inside you, and the bigger they are, the more it hurts."
"They should make halloween albums like they do for Christmas. I'd love to hear a Michael Buble version of Monster Mash."
"What has 4 teeth and 6 boobs? Third shift at the Waffle House."
"Knock Knock Kid: knock knock Dad: Who's there? Kid: Hatch Dad: Hatch who? Kid: Bless You."
"to keep things interesting in the bedroom, try bringing in a second laptop"
"[Touring Italy] Guide: Bathroom anyone? Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza Guide: That's Pisa Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza"
"Things to get done: Make coffee, Drive a train high on cocaine, Rent a lion to eat my neighbor's dog, clean up mess from that lion thing."
"According to my Nike fuel band I masturbated 5 miles today."
"What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and is on fire? Bernie."