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Joke of the Day

"[Touring Italy] Guide: Bathroom anyone? Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza Guide: That's Pisa Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza"

"Why was my boss surprised to see me screwing with the IT guy? They said IT couldn't be done"

"Still waiting for mine to mature into adultneys."

"Paddy wanted to buy a Labrador.. Mick said ""Fuck that, have you seen how many of their owners go blind!"""

"I'm fluent in Morose Code. -Debbie Downers"

"I had an addiction to soap... but thanks to some dirty bastards stealing all of it, I am clean now."

"What do you call someone who's got a horse for a mother and a fruit for a father? A Frenchman."

"I love when people tell me to get my act together and I'm like who the hell is acting geez."

"What does having sex with a hooker and bungee jumping have in common? If the rubber brakes, you're screwed."

"When I momentarily lack the ability to articulate my thoughts and use a preposition instead. That."