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Joke of the Day
"According to my Nike fuel band I masturbated 5 miles today."
Next Joke
"Two guys walk into a bar... You figure the second one would have ducked"
"A good date ends with dinner. An excellent date ends with breakfast."
"A security camera caught a couple having sex in an elevator. .... They got off on the eighth floor.... then they straightened their clothing and exited the elevator on the 14th floor."
"Best year of my life! Last year was the best year of my life. Broke my neck and I have never looked back since."
"My girlfriend can only count out loud up to five. She thinks oral six is going too far"
"Descriptivism is the right way of managing the English language, irregardless of what you think."
"Must thank Matthew Broderick for overcoming my fear of sex after pregnancy. He reminded me that sometimes you just have to get back on the horse."
"Knock knock? Who's there? Dr Who. WHICH Dr Who?"
"What happened to the guy who cooled himself to -273.15 C? He was 0K."