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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between rearranging your schedule and getting to second base with an ex-girlfriend? One is playing with your priorities, the other is playing with prior titties!"

"4-year-old: Why do robbers steal money? Me: So they can buy stuff. 4: Why don't they just steal the stuff? She's a criminal mastermind."

"Why do bird watchers invest so much money in breast cancer awareness? Because they are greatly satisfied by seeing Tucans."

"Did you hear that in September of 2001, America made a 'The Hobbit' based plane? It's first stop was the Two Towers"

"Hand holding: You know why men hold their wife's/ girlfriend's hand in shopping malls? Because if he doesn't , she will shop."

"Why are there no cats on mars? Curiosity"

"Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?"

"Want to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"What has 6 legs bits and talks in code ? A morese-quito !"

"what colour were Kurt Cobain's eyes? blue one blew this way, one blew that way"