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Joke of the Day

"Want to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"Cholo What did the cholo say when two houses fell on him? ""Get off me, homes!"" My brother heard this on Tosh."

"What do you call a cheap vasectomy? A rip off."

"Why can't you keep Jews in jail? They eat lox!"

"What's the best fabric Softener to use on a cat? Pounce..."

"BREAKING: A Tiny Fortune Teller Has Robbed a Bank And Is Now On The Loose! The headline reads: Small Medium At Large!"

"Daughter yells ""I love bananas, the bigger the better"". Wife and I laugh hysterically, Then I die a little inside."

"Why do hunters make good lovers? 1. They always go deep in the bush. 2. They shoot often. 3. They always eat what they shoot."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number...you've probably never heard of it."

"I don't understand why people are in awe when I tell them my grandfather survived Auschwitz. Most of the other German officers did too!"