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Joke of the Day

"what colour were Kurt Cobain's eyes? blue one blew this way, one blew that way"

"YOU make some noise. You're the one with the band and the microphone."

"Why didnt the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe"

"What is an Hommish woman's fantasy? Two Mennonite"

"I know people say, ""Don't bring a knife to a gun fight,"" but if there's an unsliced cake at this fight, we're all going to look like idiots."

"Poker never works well in Africa Ethiopians always eat the chips"

"Actually Jennifer, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend"

"January 29, 1802, 2 AM: I hope this letter finds you well. Are you up? March 2: I am, good sir April 6: Would you kindly come over? May 9: K"

"[in space] ASTRONAUT: Up here you can have delusions ME: Haha I don't think so A: They can seem real GANDALF: Don't believe him ME: I don't"

"When my friend takes shrooms, he instantly becomes the life of the party. What a fungi to be around."