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Joke of the Day

"Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?"

"Scat and feces... Different names for the same shit."

"Me: [uncontrollable sobbing] I can't see you anymore. I won't let you hurt me again. Trainer: It was a sit-up. You did 1 sit-up."

"I can't wait to see the phrase ""He was the longest living member of the Baha Men"" in an obituary"

"A Pentium processor engineer is counting visitors to a bar He's counted 12.000000000057249999 patrons so far."

"Miley Cyrus's fiance wants to break up with her. When asked why, he said that it's not twerking."

"When someone picks up your call after 3 or 4 rings you should know they were seriously contemplating letting you go to voicemail"

"If I don't charge my iPad at the beginning of the week I spend the whole time just trying to catch up to 100%."

"Chuck Norris' favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse."

"Bin Laden released an audio tape about the Christmas underwear bomber. A month later. Where has he been, living in a cave?"