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Joke of the Day

"Hair in bun=housework Hair in ponytail=oral sex Body language is important-So he doesn't get excited when I'm about to 2 scrub the toilet"

"What's a horny pirates worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty! *ba dum tssh*"

"Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess that snails make?"

"Popcorn. Potato. Frozen Pizza. Cold Coffee. James Incandenza. Defrost. Refrost. Cancer. Corn. """"Aren't these weird microwave buttons?"

"You know why you can't play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards!"

"Why did the chicken run around screaming? Because he had to use the bathroom."

"Teen Joke Teacher:"" What comes after 69?"" Student:"" Mouthwash."" Teacher:""Get out."""

"What type of gun do time travelers use? A Clock-18"

"Two men and one woman are in a plane crash, and they end up on a desert island. The men have sex with the woman for about a week, and one day they stop. Why? Her body was starting to smell."

"I'm okay with ""lol"", I'm cool with ""omg"", I even tolerate ""rofl"", but ""smh"" needs to gtfo."