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Joke of the Day

"Popcorn. Potato. Frozen Pizza. Cold Coffee. James Incandenza. Defrost. Refrost. Cancer. Corn. """"Aren't these weird microwave buttons?"

"Any girl can give you pics I can give you a headache"

"In light of recent events... Killing 50 people isn't hard when they're all in the closet."

"True intimacy is chatting within a shared Google Doc"

"What did the Queen say when she lost her dog? ""Where the fuck is my corgi?!"""

"How did the clock get cancer? Second-hand smoke!"

"What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented? There's been a ground breaking discovery..."

"My girlfriend and I use ""laundry"" as a code-word for sex. Her dad asked me why I couldn't do the laundry by myself so I told him ""it's a big load""."

"What's the most overused joke nowadays? Donald Trump"

"A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says ""hey! We have a drink named after you!"" And the grasshopper says ""You have a drink named Steve?!"""