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Joke of the Day
"""I just want a guy that makes me laugh"" *makes her laugh* ""Not you."""
Next Joke
"Apparently impatient midgets don't like to stand on clocks... because it would make them short on time."
"Q: Did you hear about the fly that flew through a screen door? A: He strained himself."
"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it."
"[1st day undercover] Me: [to gang of street punks] what up dongs? Voice through earpiece: OMG its DAWGS u idiot Me: is ur gang hiring today?"
"What did the veterinarian performing canine reproductive surgery say to the veterinarian with over productive saliva disorder? Spay it don't spray it."
"Any dog can be a guide dog if you don't care where you're going"
"Why was the 3 year old ethiopian kid crying He was having a mid life crisis"
"What do you call an Asian prize fighter who's dad has a serious case of diarrhea? A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy"
"""YOU'RE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER!"" - I yell at the McDonalds drive thru cashier after she tells me its 25 cents more for extra BBQ sauce."