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Joke of the Day

"What did the veterinarian performing canine reproductive surgery say to the veterinarian with over productive saliva disorder? Spay it don't spray it."

"Movie Idea: Michael Cera falls down a spiral staircase then pets a cat."

"I mentioned to my friend Hanz that today's the anniversary of the world trade center attacks. ""Nein, 11"" he said."

"Give a man a match... [inspirational quote] Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for an hour... Light a man of fire, well, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"If I spray a mosquito with mosquito repellant... Will he be so filled with self loathing that he commits suicide?"

"Waiter there's a fly swimming in my soup! Then we've served you too much soup the fly should be wading"

"What's big and gray and comes in quarts? An elephant"

"LPT: If you crash into a parked car and don't have a paper and pen.. simply use a key to scratch your insurance details on to the bonnet."

"Why did the football player laugh when he broke his arm? Because it was humerus."

"Why does Pakistan never get a corner during a football match? Every corner they get, they open a shop on it"