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Joke of the Day

"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it."

"There's a lot to be said about marriage, but we try not to say it in front of the children"

"I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tire and then roll me down a hill. They were Goodyears."

"Fitness tip: It's absolutely crucial to take ""rest days"" when working out so you don't get hurt. I've recently taken over 300 of them."

"Me: I think this diet is gonna work. Cheese: No."

"Q: How do you get a blonde off of your knees? A: Come."

"Whenever people are like ""We need to restore traditional values to this country"" I assume they mean slavery and burning witches at the stake"

"Tried to donate blood today but they had too many questions about where I got it."

"What do you call a 90 year old man who can still masturbate? Miracle Whip."

"What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a terrorist? You can negotiate with terrorists."