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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Asian prize fighter who's dad has a serious case of diarrhea? A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy"

"What do you call a dog wearing headphones? Ear bud"

"My grandfather told me this joke. A man jumps off a skyscraper. Halfway down, he says: ""so far so good"""

"it takes a while say, ""you wore that shirt the day after yesterday"", and see how long it takes for them to get it"

"If your phone gets wet put it in dry rice... at night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronic device for cheap..."

"Why is Islam called the Religion of Peace? It will leave you in pieces."

"Did you hear about the clam that could play violin? It had excellent mussel memory."

"Last night my wife said that our bed had seen better days. She's right. When she stopped at her mum's last week, I had a threesome in it on Monday and Tuesday."

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me... She calls me her sixty second lover...."

"I'm not saying the Internet lies, but there is an alarming discrepancy in the number of iPads I've won and the number that I actually own."