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Joke of the Day

"What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding? He force quit."

"If you don't feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend... you're not doing it right"

"Why did the feminist cross the road? How dare you question the decisions of someone just because she's a woman!"

"What do you call a girl with a unibrow? Cuban"

"Auto-correct turned ""likeable"" into ""lickable"" and the new intern is confused by her evaluation."

"I'm at the phase of Christmas where I'm looking at stuff in my house and going ""I could just wrap that."""

"[at library] ME: Yes, I'd like to Czech out a book on eastern Europe. LIBRARIAN: 3rd floor ME: Get it? L: This is dialog, I'm not reading it"

"Did you hear about the two fat guys who ran in the marathon? One ran in short bursts, the other in burst shorts."

"I call the toilet at work Mrs. Star Trek, because I just Shatner."

"They say a woman knows after 7 seconds whether or not she wants to have sex... Good thing I only last 5."