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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a homosexual on fire that jumps into water? A flameboyant homosexual"

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"""Always give your food a rinse before you eat it,"" my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches."
"Don't fear the onegina Commitment fearing men, do not fear the onegina syndrome, merely have a baby with her. It will feel like two."
"Where did Hitler send his Oranges? The concentration camps."
"What is the opposite of Christopher reeves? Christopher Walken"
"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out man!"
"""Super Mario, come quick! Bowser kidnapped the princess!"" -That fucking coward! I'll kill him! Which way did he go? -He went to the left. -**Goddammit!!!**"
"Wife: ""You need to watch A Series of Unfortunate Events"" Me: ""okay, I'll get out the wedding video"""
"Meatloaf just collapsed on stage Mom is losing her skills in the kitchen"
"Where is the biggest jews concentration? In the air."