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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't healthy drive-thrus a thing? I want an egg and a grapefruit and a latte and I don't want to get out of my car damn it."

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

"I have always hated shopping for clothes because my mom would always hit me alot with a coathanger as a child Then i was born"

"a tv show where a group of friends just text each other but never hang out"

"stewardess Stewardess: ""Would you like some headphones?"" Me: ""How did you know my name was phones?"""

"Any writer can be a ghost writer if you kill them"

"What did the man say to the giant squid? What's kraken? JAJAJAJAJJAJJAJA"

"The transformation of Facebook into MySpace is almost complete."

"I was at a Pakistani owned gas station... There was some sort of problem with my debit card at the pump. I know this because a message popped up that said ""PLEASE SEE KASHIR."""

"Why can't a porn star sneak up on anyone? Because everyone sees them coming"