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Joke of the Day
"What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Damn"
Next Joke
"I don't care about following a 'funny' celebrity from tv on Twitter-instead I look up who writes for their show then follow that person."
"Three women are sitting at a bar talking about how loose they are... One can fit in a sausage, one can fit in a cucumber and the third one just slides down onto the bar stool."
"I'm great in bed; I can sleep for days."
"War is never the answer. Unless the question is ""What's never the answer?"""
"You know the fly was really close to being called a land... Because that's what it does half the time. RIP Mitch Hedberg"
"Why do penguins never go to England? Because they're afraid of Wales!"
"I tried running once. But I kept spilling my beer."
"My mom and her church biddies have morphed Facebook's ""People you may know"" to ""People who likely cleaned your face with spit on a hanky."""
"Tumblr is like junk food They're both filled with trans fat."