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Joke of the Day

"Marriage is like a hurricane... Starts with a bunch of sucking and blowing, and at the end you lose your house."

"What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12."

"Herpes sounds like the name of a greek god"

"""1st day at school"" Mother: ""Did you enjoy your first day at school?"" . Girl: ""First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?"

"Success... Is like being pregnant. Everyone congratulates you, but no one knows how many times you got fucked."

"I have a dark sense of humor but being a normally good person, *people don't see it.*"

"I hate people with club feet... I'm lack toes intolerant."

"I just realized the Dictionary.com app on my phone, reads out any word I type, including 'penis'. I can't wait for that meeting tomorrow."

"What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas? Ince pies!"

"What music does a balloon really hate? Pop"