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Joke of the Day

"Kids are like farts. You can just about stand your own."

"Whenever I skip a day on the treadmill, I add the 25 minutes to the next day. Tomorrow, I will be running until 2026."

"Pretty much the only time I WANT to hear about your ex is if she's standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I'm good."

"I no longer see my wife and kids because of gambling. I won a shitload of money and moved to Spain."

"Drinking Bud Light is like having sex in a canoe... Its fucking close to water."

"My iPod started crying after I dropped it. I said ""You'll be okay, stop syncing about it"". We laughed & made jokes about Microsoft together."

"Why don't vampires go south of the border? Because every time they suck a Mexican's blood, they get the vshits for a month."

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar... What, it could happen..."

"Shortest joke ever? ""Pretentious? Moi?"""

"why you should never go to war against bhuddists they have respawn"