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Joke of the Day

"50,000 battered women a year... And I still eat mine plain!"

"Cats won't give away your position when someone knocks on the door. They hide with you, like understanding furry ninjas."

"[texting] Her: We need to talk. (9:00 am) Him: About? (9:01 am) Him: What? (9:02 am) Him: WHAT??? (9:03 am) Her: Dinner tonight. (4:42 pm)"

"Really the only way to look cool eating a salad is to shoot it into your mouth with a crossbow."

"I don't always correct someone's spelling but when I do, I google it first so I don't make an ass of myself."

"The Legend of Zelda Joke Do you know why Ganon can't use the internet? There's too many Links."

"Why dont Egyptian Chefs do well in the circus? They always fal-afel off the tight rope."

"When Jesus Makes Tea... Hebrews"

"What do you call a friendly helicopter? A hello-copter"

"The only way Mexico will pay for that wall... ...is if Trump drives the US economy into the ground and Americans start crossing into Mexico looking for jobs."