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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my peanut butter... ...brown, smooth, and easy to spread. Props to Shakes the Clown."

"Years ago I bought a dress for my wife at a store that sells hard-to-find items. I asked why I never see her wearing it. She said she can't find it."

"Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete falls out. Who is left? Repeat. Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete falls out. Who is left?"

"Why is Stephen Hawking successful? He can't run away from his responsibilities."

"What did the male mountain say to his wife? What's the Matterhorn-y?"

"""You give me one leather jacket, I invest it, then give you back TWO leather jackets!"" - Fonzi Scheme"

"PILOT OVER INTERCOM: I have some bad news, but before I tell you, keep in mind that the Wright bros could only stay airborne for 12 seconds"

"Apple are finally allowing porn on the itunes store now there's a fap for that"

"And Jesus said, ""Come forth and receive everlasting life...."" But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven."

"Why aren't people from the Westboro Baptist Church archaeologists? Because they are *homo*phobes."