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Joke of the Day

"Really the only way to look cool eating a salad is to shoot it into your mouth with a crossbow."

"I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs"

"WW2 started from a game of telephone when Hitler said "" I hate shoes"""

"You must be peanut butter because you're making my legs feel like jelly."

"To try change my friends mind about puns I told him one a day for 10 days to try and get him to laugh But no pun in ten did."

"I put on my favorite disco album yesterday. My wife tried telling me disco was dead. I said ""No honey, it's not. You're thinking of your mother."

"Thanks for nothing autocorrect, I'm never gonna get chicks being a ""homeless romantic""."

"Condoms don't break They sexpire."

"Son: ""Dad! My lsd is missing!"" Dad: ""We have bigger problems son, there's a dragon in the kitchen."""

"If I'm your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too."