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Joke of the Day

"Cats won't give away your position when someone knocks on the door. They hide with you, like understanding furry ninjas."

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"A thief broke into my house, looking for money I got up and did the same thing."
"Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 ganged up with 10 and killed 8 and 9"
"Emoji: because sometimes a chicken, the Spanish flag, and a lesbian couple is the only way to express how you really feel."
"LPT: Always know what subreddit you are posting in"
"When someone tells me, ""I think of you as family,"" I assume I'm about to be yelled at for something that happened 10 years ago."
"Why are male bathrooms on the left, and female bathrooms on the right? Because no matter what, women are always right, even when they're full of shit."
"A man asks his wife... Husband: ""Honey, how come you never shout my name when you have an orgasm?"" Wife: ""Because you're never there."""
"What's big, black and steals you credit card? Sony Playstation 3"
"What's the difference between a tumblrite and a coprolite? Their age."