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Joke of the Day

"[texting] Her: We need to talk. (9:00 am) Him: About? (9:01 am) Him: What? (9:02 am) Him: WHAT??? (9:03 am) Her: Dinner tonight. (4:42 pm)"

"I can't be the only one worried about where spiders go in winter."

"Chant at a pro-sexual consent rally. ""What do we want?"" *-- Consensual intercourse!* ""When do we want it?"" *-- Not right now!*"

"What did the man do when he got a big gas bill? He exploded."

"I submitted a group of puns to a pun judging contest hoping one of them would win. No pun in ten did."

"Zoo A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"When my doctor diagnosed me with surrealism I didn't know what to candle wax forest upside down volcano coffin."

"sent someone a text that said ""you need medieval catheter"" when i actually meant ""medical attention"" and i didn't bother correcting myself"

"Because we love Adel.. Why did my computer just say hello? Oh, that's right. It's A Dell."

"Pete and Repete are in a boat together. Pete jumps out of the boat. Who is left in the boat?"