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Joke of the Day

"I don't always correct someone's spelling but when I do, I google it first so I don't make an ass of myself."

"My crush said we can't be together because he's seeing another woman so I asked him to rub his eyes and check if I still look different."

"i did it God! i finaly got 2 of evry animal NOAH.THEY HAVE TO BE ALIVE *noah looks at boat full of dead animals* do u kno how long this took"

"""Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?"" - Mary Magdalene."

"A fish swam into a concrete wall... He said damn"

"My facebook homepage has become a sea of 'who the fuck is that?'"

"Did you hear about that baby boy that was born with no eyelids? The doctors actually used his foreskin from circumcision to construct his eyelids. He's OK, but just a little cock-eyed."

"What changed to make The Fantastic Four the Fantastic Three? Nothing."

"No matter how spicy your sex life is ... If he's a two-thymer; cumin in that ginger Rosemary, my sage advice ... would bay to leaf him."

"This orange does not taste right... I think I'm gonna put it back in the crayon box."