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Joke of the Day

"If you put your face really close to a neck tattoo & slowly pull away, you can see a hidden design of the unemployment office."

"Which disease do hobbits fear the most? The Bilbonic plague."

"u think u had a bad day? smh think about the tree that just got cut down to make flyers for the next nickelback concert"

"Nice try, dogs who wear ""Please Don't Pet Me, I'm Working"" vests."

"Imagine if you killed a shark then got reincarnated as a shark but the shark you killed was really popular & all the sharks knew it was you."

"What sound does a cow make? ""Moooo"" Good, a duck? ""Quack"" Good, how about a seal? ""My power my PLEASURE MY PAIN, babaaaayyy"

"ME: So you indicate action using airstrikes? HER: What? No, I said asterisks. ME: Ha, of course. [to walkie-talkie] Disengage. DISENGAGE!"

"Nobody can negotiate like a 4 year old told he has 2 minutes til bed."

"My 4-year-old sang in church for the first time. So what if it was the wrong song? There's never a bad time for ""We Will Rock You."""

"What kind of dogs are full of Chinese scientists? Yellow labs"