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Joke of the Day

"My 4-year-old sang in church for the first time. So what if it was the wrong song? There's never a bad time for ""We Will Rock You."""

"He took me from a bar. He took me in his car....... He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!"

"""Why your stomach is so big""...""That's the baby ... I had for lunch"""

"Did you hear about the new Italian tires? Dago here, dago there, and when dago flat, dago wop wop wop."

"The boy was having trouble learning about computer memory. He kept forgetting everything."

"Men domesticated dogs to have a friend. Cats to eradicate the pests of the home. But we are still trying to domesticate women for easy reproduction."

"Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? ...her capital has been Dublin for years"

"I guy stumbled into a bar..... ...**OUCH**"

"[remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president."

"I'm never marrying anyone else that I find on craigslist."