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Joke of the Day

"What sound does a cow make? ""Moooo"" Good, a duck? ""Quack"" Good, how about a seal? ""My power my PLEASURE MY PAIN, babaaaayyy"

"Matthew McConaughey set to guest edit Breibart news next week Alt-Right Alt-Right Alt-Right"

"What's an astronaut's favorite dessert? Terra-miss-u"

"Why don't tampons talk to maxi-pads? Because they're stuck-up cunts."

"I think some of you need an exorcism not an intervention."

"How do you get a witch pregnant? Ya fuck her."

"Dad, how could you? I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Did you hear the new broom joke? It's sweeping the nation!"

"I'm really not sure how many times I'll search for my phone with the flashlight on my phone before I realize I'm an idiot...."

"Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father ""Pop what's a millennium?"" ""Well"" he muttered ""I think it's something like a centennial only it has more legs!"""