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Joke of the Day

"Imagine if you killed a shark then got reincarnated as a shark but the shark you killed was really popular & all the sharks knew it was you."

"Kryptonite They call my dick Kryptonite, Because not even Superman can handle it. Boom!"

"To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office... I will find you. You have my Word."

"Having identical twins is great because if you misplace one you have a second copy."

"Anakin: Want to go out? Padme: Ew. You're 9. Anakin: Padme: Talk to me in a decade when the age gap between us is exactly the same."

"What did the cat say after reading """"To Kill a Mockingbird""? I want a refund: there's not one darn thing about how to kill a bird *anywhere* in this book."

"The mohel Q: Did you hear about the short sighted mohel? A: He got the sack."

"Bert is walking with Albert through the park and says, ""I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."" Albert says, ""What's the name of his other leg?"""

"A very Fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk, 'i would like to see a bikini that fits me' Clerk...'me too'"

"What's red and unhealthy for your teeth? A brick."