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Joke of the Day

"Imagine if you killed a shark then got reincarnated as a shark but the shark you killed was really popular & all the sharks knew it was you."

"When I was in jail I was asked by one of the rather large inmates, ""you wana be the poppa or the momma?"" I responded with ""Poppa""..... ""then get over here and suck mommas dick"""

"What did the metric alien say ? Take me to your litre !"

"Two kittens are on a slanted roof, which one slides off first? The one with the least mew."

"What's the worst part about season 1 of Lost? The *pilot* episode."

"Q: Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator? A: He didn't want to see the salad dressing."

"Did ya hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field"

"I realized the reason why i don't have any patience. Because I am not a doctor."

"What do you call a midget psychiatrist on the run from the law? A small medium at large."

"I used to date a girl that played softball... She dumped me because I wouldn't go to second base."