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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? He'll always like R.... But his true love is the C"

"[bar] CUSTOMER: Barman BARMAN: Sir? C: This beer tastes like piss [further down the bar] BEAR GRYLLS: I'll have what he's having"

"So, being a mirror inspector... ...is a job I could really see myself doing."

"I was surprised that my skin products kept moving around my medicine cabinet But it turns out it was just brownian lotion."

"Why was the owl afraid of Raidoactivity Because it was made of Hootonium"

"How come reddit posters have no babies? Because OP never delivers."

"The downvote button is not a disagree button."

"Why is tomorrow like your girlfriend. It never comes."

"Wife was talking for a while so I pulled out my iPod & played her off award show style. This did not go over as well as I hoped."

"There's probably a whole circle in hell that's just full of guys beatboxing."