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Joke of the Day

"I was surprised that my skin products kept moving around my medicine cabinet But it turns out it was just brownian lotion."

"Little monster: Mom why can't we have dustbins like everyone else? Mother monster: Less talking more eating please."

"Why can't a nihilist use a pencil?.... because they cant find the point."

"My Wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe.........."

"I was looking at the fruit in the bowl, thinking... How the fuck did I end up with a gay goldfish..."

"Still waiting for #WTF! Friday where we all list people whose popularity is a mystery to us."

"Feel free to use the ""or less"" feature of your 140 characters."

"what if princess leia went to the dark side? then she would be luke's sithter"

"*uses Mr. Clean magic eraser to wipe off your drawn on eyebrows*"

"I used to perform circumcisions for a living. I got tons of tips."